Uzumaki Ronri
by Mindless Tofu
Summary: AU: Naruto fell from the Great Naruto Bridge, presumed MIA. Nine years later, a weakened Leaf receives unlikely help from a conflicted Akatsuki and a one manned strike force. Sakura and Naruko provide comedic relief. Naruto attempts to change the world while struggling with his Nindo. Mature themes.


Uzumaki Ronri

Chapter One – Strike Team Foxtrot

Autumn's wind orchestrated the cherry blossoms. Five centimeters per second, the petals fell.

Tsunade swished her sake dish. "It's nice." Her lips parted way for the liquid. "You should have some, Sakura." The fifth Hokage laughter was melodic, "You certainly need some."

The woman in question scoffed as she refilled Tsunade's cup. "Honestly sensei, I don't get how we can be on a Picnic when Madara is assimilating the Mist."

"Sakura," Tsunade chided, "did you know this is why you're starting to get wrinkles?"

Sakura looked away from her mentor with an audible "Hmph".

"Ying and yang. You need to find a balance. What you have control over, control. What you cannot change, study."

"At least get an official team over to the Mist. We haven't heard from the Akatsuki in months. I told you we shouldn't trust mercenaries."

"Patience, pupil."

The setting sun masked the sky in burnt orange as the wind's scent changed from cherry blossoms to that of blood rust. As the grass and leaves settled, two presences remained.

"Ne, old lady, you shouldn't be out here with only your lovely little student. I heard Oto has been harassing your village lately."

Ever the welcomed sight: Deidara the Artist and Hidan the Undead.

"Thank you for your concern, but we girls can handle ourselves. What news do you bring from the Mist?" Sakura asked as she winced in disgust. The sight of Deidara kissing with his hand was unsettling.

"Itachi and Pain are keeping Madara busy." Hidan answered, "But we don't know how long before Madara will notice." He leaned toward Sakura and took a large whiff. "Your innocence is intoxicating, young one. What do you think about…"

Tsunade frowned as Hidan dug his scythe into himself. She had to interrupt him before he started his usual preaching. "What and when is he planning to move?"

"We don't know yet. As of now he's stable. We're still collecting tailed beasts." Deidara replied as he rubbed his face with his hand mouth.

The fifth Hokage exhaled. The Leaf took on a monumental loss during the Chunin exam nine years ago and never fully recovered. They lost the last pureblooded Sharingan, and was forced to relinquish sovereignty over lucrative lands to the Sand to force a truce. It was only months ago that the Leaf's spymaster Jiraiya managed joined and commanded some influence over the Akatsuki.

Explosions rocked the tranquil forest clearing. A squadron of Sound shock troopers surrounded Tsunade, Sakura, and the two eccentric missing-nins.

"God damn it Hidan I told you to cover your tracks! The Oto has us cornered." Even Deidara's hand mouth was yelling at his partner. "But no, the glorious Hidan just has to leave a literal blood trail!"

"Heathen, it is your god that has forsaken you, mine has again rewarded my faith with an opportunity to relish in blood!"

Matching Deidara's over the top explosions, Hidan's craft was a dramatic display of crimson.

"Those guys are freaks!" Sakura quipped to Tsunade as she delivered a chakra packed punch onto the ground. "We need to get out of there, sensei, I sense a whole company closing in on us!" A shockwave traveled through the ground separating the Oto squad.

Tsunade rarely cursed in a serious tone. "Shit." They were severely out numbered.

Chakra surged through the earth underneath their feet. Sakura rarely cursed. Well, that was a lie, she cursed regularly. "Shit! Their tactical units are in place, we need to retreat ASAP. They're about to terraform!"

Combat rule one, control the environment.

With our heroines at the center, radiating one kilometer in every direction, solid earthen ground morphed into swamp land.

Instinctively, the two Leaf-nins pushed well controlled chakra out from their feet maintaining balance. Deidara had a more exaggerated response to the changing battlefield.

"C4! C4! Fuck this swamp, and that spot, and that Oto-nin in particular!" Deidara exclaimed as he generously applied his craft. His clay creations flew wildly, some detonating in midair while others haphazardly searched for the Oto-nins.

Miles away, the Sound captain smirked, "We got'em. Days of tracking and they lead us to this little bonus." He looked at his sergeant, "With this we can finish the war faster."

"We had good luck, captain."

Captain Shinji patted his sergeant's shoulder, "Have the tactical units start the chakra drain and get two extraction teams on standby. Once those four are drained, I want them sealed and in interrogation within twenty four hours."

"Yes Sir!"

Naruto Uzumaki was officially missing in action genin. Last recorded sighting of him was on the then incomplete Great Naruto Bridge. Yet here he stood, clad in simple standard issue ANBU uniform, almost nine years later.

"Precious Cargo spotted." his earpiece clicked to life, "Enemy estimated one hundred and fifty strong." A pause lingered before the communication continued, "They're getting ready to tag and seal, orders?"

"I want Uzu 1 and Uzu 2 to target their captain and sergeant for hiraishin extraction." Naruto took another glance over the battleground topography, "Prep Uzu 3 through 8 for artillery strike."

"Copy. Wilco."

"Uzu 1 and 2 go."

It was an unceremonial fifteen seconds before Sound's Captain Shinji and Sergeant Yuto was harishined in front of Naruto. The Sound officers were kicked to their knees. Four shadow clones materialized beside Naruto and proceeded to place both officers in a hold. Naruto picked up a short blade and forced it into the Sound Capitan's hand.

"Captain. As one man to another. Who told you the Hokage was here?"

The Sound captain held his tongue.

"I see. I respect that." Naruto gentled moved Shinji's hand so that it placed the blades across Yuto's left eye. "But we're at war. I don't need genjutsu to make you talk." Naruto guided Shinji's hand forward.

It didn't take long before a conversation was forced. "Uchiha gave us the tip about following the Akatsuki, we bumped into the Leaf-nins by accident!" Shinji was near tears, "Please, I'll talk, just stop making me do this!"

"One more question," Naruto continued calmly. "Where's the Uchiha?"

"I don't know!" Shinji screamed, "I swear! They keep his whereabouts hidden! No one but the Otokage sees him!"

Naruto guided Shinji's hand across Yuto's face, "One more time." Naruto paused for effect, "Where is he?"

"Please," Shinji begged, "I don't know."

"Well, at least you're being honest." Naruto moved Shinji's hand across Yuto's neck.

"Why?! I told you the truth!" The remaining Sound officer struggled against Naruto's shadow clones.

"I was making sure you were."

"Uzu 1 and 2, extract Precious Cargo to safe house 16. Uzu 3 to 8, prepare to send package." Naruto commanded through his communication network.

"This is Uzu 1, Cargo confirmed."

"This is Uzu 2, Cargo confirmed."

"Send it." He stated.

"Sending."

"Sending."

"Sending."

The confirmation repeated three more times over Naruto's earpiece.

In mere seconds, the Sound's third Kyu Company was no more.

"You're a monster." Shinji blandly stated, "Why do you do this?"

"So we can live in peace."

Naruto turned to his officer, "Take this Sound-nin to interrogation."

"Got it." Kurama curtly replied.

Safe house 16 was a nondescript farm house two hours outside of Leaf proper. It was lightly decorated, with a simple table and two lopsided chairs. Its current occupiers, the fifth Hokage and her protégé, were having a bad day. At least the room had jugs of sake.

With a light pop, Naruto materialized in front of the pacing Tsunade. Despite years of combat experience, he was unable to avoid the punch that cordially greeted his face.

"Who the hell are you?" The Hokage demanded.

"Strike Team Foxtrot." Naruto responded with a salute just as Kurama fizzed into existence right next to him. "This is Kurama", Naruto pointed to his partner.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto."

Haruno Sakura chocked on her sake.

AN: This has been kicking around in my head for a bit. Darker theme at times. The title is a pun. Uzumaki Logic, Circular Logic. I hope you all enjoy.


End file.
